The Gratitude Lists
I hope you'll share yours in the comments. Here's how I started and some examples from the last few years:
Well-meaning people had been on at me to start writing a daily gratitude list for nine months before I did. I couldn't do it until my life had got a tiny bit easier - tiny - and I started because I wanted to hold onto my tiny progress. It was my friend L who suggested we send ours to each other. There are nights I wouldn't have bothered if it weren't for our shared obligation. Hers are immense, they mean something to me and mine to her. It's dreamy to have a friend.
There aren't rules but it should be a minimum of three things. Force yourself; I've been grateful for toast before now. I remain grateful for toast.
Three things from today; I almost always write mine in bed and I've felt a little more positive every day.
Sharing these with you is more meaningful than scribbling them in Notes and never looking at them again. They're a record of how far we've come.
There's a reminder template I don't use but here it is to save you looking. Or just read mine.
- I'm grateful for my ability to...
- The best thing I smelled, saw, heard and felt today was...
- One thing that I love is...
- The strongest part of my body is...
- One of the memories I'm most grateful for is...
- The thing that made me smile today was...
Random examples:
25th Sept 2020:
1. I had the loveliest time with L today, who is so precious.
2. I kept calm on the exterior and mostly inside even when I was surrounded by passive-aggressive toxic people
3. You didn’t stress me out, even though you were having your own truly awful day. You were just there for me, and let me be there for you when I could be. You’re what I’m most grateful for today.
4. I’m doing a fourth... I’m grateful that we both have tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be good, perhaps it’ll be shit, but it’s ours now because we did today. Love xxxx
26th Sept 2020:
I think I’ll sleep but I’m grateful for:
1. Clean sheets on my bed, put on by me
2. Feeling a little calmer than I did 12 hours ago
3. Taylor Swift, marmite and being sober. In that order. Xxxx.
You still have to give me yours even though all of our eyes are closing x
27th Sept 2020:
1. I’m grateful I had the motivation to get out and run and really be enjoyed it.
2. I walked at sunset and cried a bit but it was a settling, releasing cry; it was considered and made me feel a little bit centred. I’m where I’m meant to be today.
3. I’m so glad to be sober and pleased we both have tomorrow and another clean slate.
4. I’m so glad you don’t judge me for Céline. Everyone always has. It’s nice to be myself xx
29th Sept 2020:
Hmm.
1. I’m grateful L was cool and funny and kind to me at dinner after so many years of angst and her living with my instability.
2. That I felt the sun on my face sitting in the park for my therapy session this afternoon.
3. That I’m getting gradually stronger and more able to cope... It’s by the skin of my teeth but I’m doing it.
It was quite a lonely and frustrating day. I ate really unhealthily but I’m not drunk and I’m not dead.
Tomorrow will be better.